Saturday, June 20, 2009

a visitor

so i had a visitor tonight. not a person actually, and not one of celestial entity before you're minds skip to the extreme. However my visitor may have been set previously by Divine appointment, i'll let you decide for yourselves.

my visitor was in fact, a cat. a black cat with a white throat patch. i have seen this cat hang around before, and actually wander through my house on occasion as i've left the doors open. i have hoped that this cat would stay around for a while to keep the gopher population down and when it does hang around, the gophers seem to be fewer. i saw the cat tonight and it playfully jumped in the tall grass in an attempt of a pounce to get my attention. however there was no stalk before the pounce, so the ploy was just a play.

turning my back to attend to the sprinkler the cat ventured into my house and perused looking for food, though behaving itself for the most part. i offered it some water which it declined (silly cat) but accepted some petting and scratching. i did offer it some biscut that i had made earlier which it ate up in a moment or two. smiling i walked back inside and indulged my tastebuds on the rest of the biscut, but in short order the cat was by my feet then hopped onto my lap, careful not to dig it's claws into my legs. it nosed my hand looking for more biscut but had to settle for a back rub instead.

it left shortly after and when i walked outside to see where it went, there was no sign of it. gone, but looking up to the west i saw a sunset of amber clouds above the hill. i decided to go for a walk to the top of the hill with my camera to relish in the handiwork of God and set off without delay.

just a few steps off my yard and onto the wild hill yielded a small find, though trash to some, the fletched end of a lost arrow. but further up brought greater treasures, some seen, others not. a blast warm breeze seemed to flow into and through me, creating a greater awakening for what was to come.

the grass was not tall, perhaps 8 inches, and sparse, creating a meager existance through the blanket of dead stalks flattened by the past years' snow and rain. but even these stems poking through created a field of grace, dotted by a patchwork of yellows, whites, blues, and purples of the wildflowers still holding onto their full beauty. the walk up took me through a few small patches of rose hips, patches of white queen anne's lace, and yellow clusters of something i do not know. all blending together in a scene of eveningtide wonder. the yellows of the flowers brought brilliance to the increasing amber clouds, and the clouds to the flowers. the mountains, which took on a greater immensity, sat blue in the waning light and what looked like a thin haze, unobstructed by houses, hills and trees, surrounding me on this lonely hilltop.

i gazed at the expanse around me, marveling at it all, then turned for the walk down before the darkness settled. i took in the wild beauty around me, the grasses and variety of flowers all fitting together. even the canada thistle with it's silvery white leaves and blue blossoms seemed to belong with this harmony on the hill. it seemed so peaceful, so calm and meant to be, not caught in the distractions of the crazy world below and provided for from above. a few steps further and my attention was diverted to a white-tail doe with last years fawn bolting along the hill, obviously frightened by my intrusion into their little paradise.

getting back to my yard brought a chill breeze with the smell of clean air, not from the rain, but rather from my sprinkler. not an unpleasant breeze, but a reminder of the toils we chose to labor and be caught up in. but the beautiful contrast to make the former experience enjoyable and the knowledge that there is better to come.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

on being missed

so i got a phone call today from a friend at camp. a friend who was new on staff last summer, which happened to be my last summer on staff. she has called on and off needing someone to talk to about troubles at school or problems with classmates and now with camp staff. she even called wondering where certain props where or files on the computer, and even though though i'm over a thousand miles away, i still can come to the rescue. the call today was in the category of needing someone to talk to about the hecticness of camp and all the new staff. "i really missed you at camp. there are all these new staff and no one seems to know what to do. we had cookout today and we were all in the kitchen and couldn't remember what we needed to get ready. even (name omitted for anonymity but who happens to be the camp manager) said 'i really miss ken being around' because you would just take care of all these things." well, those may not have been all the exact words, but that is the jist of it.

it's quite weird not being at camp for the first time in 5 summers. and hearing from staff that they really miss all my help makes me feel sad yet appreciated. i wish i could be there to help, but i know that i'm supposed to be where i am now. this is the opportunity for the staff to grow and take on my, and for me to try something new. my thoughts and prayers will have to be with those at the camp.

the conversation ran through my mind and even out my mouth this evening as i was at a going away party for a staff member where i work. we were all sitting around having fun, i actually had just gotten desert, a rhubarb crisp with whipped cream, when i felt the fire pager start vibrating. "that's not good," i said, and turned up the volume to listen. a few people started to hear the noise and wondered what was going on. through the garbled message i explained to those who didn't know that i was on the fire department here, and then the address was rattled off, fairly close to the place where the party was at. "right there," someone said, and we followed his finger to a plume of smoke rising a few miles off.

being so far away, and having not driven my car i thought i would never get there in time to help. i continued to listen and updated people as the information came through, again that feeling of being needed, and soon the pager went off again, they were asking for a standby crew, and finally decided i should get going, and someone volunteered to give me a ride. i got to the station and weighted a while, but then people started coming back, though i was still needed as backup.

each person has a purpose, sometimes their purpose may be so someone else has a purpose, but they are still here for a reason. it is not always clear, but it does feel great when we are appreciated, whether it is in being missed one place or needed in another. we are who and where we are for something.